Bikini Spring Break (2012) – Review

2 1/2 Stars

The Asylum’s latest teen sex comedy, Bikini Spring Break, features five college marching band girls trekking across the country to transport instruments to a band competition. Along the way their short bus breaks down in Ft. Lauderdale and the girls must find a way to earn some cash to get back on the road. Luckily for them it’s spring break, and taking off their tops seems to be a great way to earn some dough (ok, maybe that’s lucky for us). From Jell-o wrestling to wet t-shirt contests, these girls are willing to try anything to get to the finals and compete.

Alright, I’ll get right down to what everyone wants to know, nudity. Yes, there’s plenty of it, although it’s fairly tame compared to other Asylum sex comedies, there’s a lot of breasts and it starts from the very first shot. If that’s all you’re looking to get out of Bikini Spring Break (and who could blame you with a title like that) then you’ll be pretty happy.

The main issue for me here is this film was clearly hampered by budget, and often in such a way that it took me out of the moment. The sets are nice, but often never full enough with people to seem real. We only ever see a small amount of the marching band. Mainly it’s these five girls. To explain away the other band members, they have them take an airplane to the competition, and our main characters must drive all the instruments as the school couldn’t pay to have them shipped along with the rest of the band. It seems more setup than real.

Every once in awhile The Asylum tries too hard to venture outside or cover up their budgetary constraints; it’s usually detrimental to the film. There’s no need for the band angle here, and if you can’t afford it throw it out. Case in point, the short bus the girls take on their trip. For some reason they didn’t get enough footage of the bus driving around. So they intercut a series of shots of different buses, different sizes and paint jobs, with the one they got for the movie. It’s almost insulting, especially when they comment that they got a “short bus” and then I see shots of a full length school bus masquerading as the one the girls are driving. Once they get to Ft. Lauderdale a lot of these issue are toned down by the fun of the flick.

This movie definitely gets the 80’s and 90’s sex comedy vibe right. The nudity is worked in and makes sense. The actors are cast well and seem to fit the idiosyncrasies of their characters. Revenge of the Nerds Robert Carradine as the band’s coach is a little underused, but who wants to see him when we have such lovely ladies in the lead roles. I really liked this cast- Rachel Alig, Virginia Petrucci, Samantha Stewart, Jamie Noel and Erin O’Brien play off each other well, and all brought something different to the group in terms of comedy. The standouts for me were Stewart as the sort of den-mother/adult of the group and Erica Duke (#1 Cheerleader Camp) as the do-gooder who’s mission is to shut down spring break. I wouldn’t mind seeing these two headline more flicks.

I may have been a little harsh with my demands for Bikini Spring Break, but after seeing a few really good sex comedies come out of The Asylum my expectations have been raised. Regardless of its shortcomings, when the end credits started to roll I realized I was entertained by Bikini Spring Break.

Director: Jared Cohn
Stars: Robert Carradine, Rachel Alig, Virginia Petrucci, Samantha Stewart, Jamie Noel, Erin O’Brien, Erica Duke

One thought on “Bikini Spring Break (2012) – Review

  1. Not a great movie by any stretch, but the plot (as these things go) isn’t too bad, and keeps things moving along between topless scenes. But really, these movies are really all about the attractiveness of the cast, and how much skin they show. The gratuitous nudity is frequent, but not rampant, and all five of the female leads show their breasts within the opening minute. It’s a good looking cast, but Rachel Alig stands out with her pretty face and terrific breasts. If nothing else, I’m glad I watched this movie because of her.

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