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The Cabin in the Woods (2011) – Review

April 24, 2012 in Horror, Reviews, SciFi

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1 1/2 Stars

The Cabin in the Woods gets one thing right, it has a great title. One that evokes all sorts of nightmare scenarios, unfortunately thats about all I can commend this horror comedy for. Part satire, part homage, and very boring is a more accurate description of the impact this annoyingly smug little film had on me. Director Drew Goddard working from a screenplay co-written by Joss Whedon, is responsible for this outlandish tale that starts like most films in the genre but has far greater aspirations. That the film is entirely unsuccessful has partially to do with the fact that Goddard and Whedon, try to cram too much into what appears to be a low-budget thriller. Tonally the film is a mess, it wants to have it both ways. Are we supposed to laugh at the knowing winks to genre conventions or be startled by the routine slasher moments? In the end I was not impressed or entertained by either.
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Mission: Impossible III (2006) – Review

April 20, 2012 in Action, Reviews

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3 Stars

T.V. director J.J. Abrams makes his feature film debut with the third installment in the Mission Impossible franchise. This entry is a slam-bang action thriller; throwing plausibility out of the window early on and reveling in the techno-gadgetry that makes the series so appealing. Ethan Hunt (Cruise) is aided this time out by series regular Luther Stickell (Ving Rhames), as well as two new operatives on the IMF team. The MacGuffin in this episode is called ‘the rabbits foot’, a mysterious device that can cause a doomsday affect. Abrams and his writers have wisely chosen to treat the object as a perfunctory part of the storyline. The real focus in the screenplay by Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci, is on the relationship between Hunt and his fiancee, Rachel.
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Tooth Fairy 2 (2012) – Review

April 5, 2012 in Comedy, Family, Reviews

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1 1/2 Stars

Tooth Fairy 2 comes with a PG rating because of “some mild rude humor”, that is to say if you can find any humor at all. This is not a terrible picture, just a lazy one. The original starred Dwayne Johnson, in a script once commissioned for a potential Arnold Schwarzenegger vehicle. Tooth Fairy 2 stars Larry the Cable Guy, and let me tell you friends, this is not an equal trade-off. Who would have thought that a wrestler turned actor could be funnier than a stand-up comedian? Perhaps I am being too harsh. Johnson had a far better screenplay to work with, Larry is stuck with a cut-rate story that would have seemed trite in a Jim Varney Ernest picture.
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Tomorrow, When the War Began (2010) – Review

April 4, 2012 in Action, Drama, Reviews

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3 1/2 Stars

Tomorrow, When the War Began is a taut, exciting thriller from director/writer Stuart Beattie, based on a novel of the same name. The movie was filmed back in 2010 and is just now receiving a direct-to-DVD release. Do not let that misnomer fool potential viewers, this is an above average production that deserves to be seen. The story takes place in a small Australian town, and centers on a group of seven teenagers. While the teens are away deep in the outback on a camping trip, they witness a horde of jet fighter planes roaring over-head. The kids take little notice and presume the armada is a military training exercise. When they return to desolate homes, it becomes apparent that a foreign army has occupied their country. This leads to a cat and mouse game between the witty teens and the soldiers patrolling for stragglers.
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The Killing Machine (2010) – Review

March 29, 2012 in Action, Reviews

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3 Stars

In The Killing Machine, Dolph Lundgren is an ex KGB agent, now living in the United States and working as a hit-man, for the Russian mafia. The veteran assassin is contemplating retirement, when he is forced into taking one last assignment. Things go awry and suddenly Lundgren finds himself the target for a group of skilled mercenaries. The Killing Machine (a.k.a. Icarus) is a stylish action thriller that attempts to add an element of film noir mixed in with its Bourne-like story. The result is a mixed bag, with a handful of good scenes but not much originality.
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Air Collision (2012) – Review

March 28, 2012 in Action, Drama, Reviews

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3 Stars

There are two kinds of films released from distribution house The Asylum. They are either low-budget guilty pleasures or wretchedly unwatchable genre schlock, fortunately Air Collision falls into the former category. This is arguably the most polished production yet from The Asylum, but hey; who wants to argue? Air Collision features a few recognizable faces and a well worn storyline, but it is competently told, and showcases decent B-Movie filmmaking. The use of stock footage from other Asylum productions is evident but it helps keep the film aloft through a soggy second act.
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21 Jump Street (2012) – Review

March 24, 2012 in Comedy, Reviews

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2 1/2 Stars

I suspect ones enjoyment of 21 Jump Street, will depend on how far removed from high school, you may be. Those familiar with the 1980s television series may find this comedy less amusing than those born after the show’s cancelation. It stars two likable, yet bland leads in Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill. They are cast here as partners on a police force that doesn’t seem to have much use for them. Because of their youthful appearance, the duo is handpicked to go undercover and pose as students. It seems that a new, and deadly designer drug has hit the market. The task force on the case has pinpointed a central high-school as the source. The operation is run by a loud, overbearing captain, played by Ice Cube. He instructs Schmidt and Jenko to infiltrate the dealers and find the suppliers.
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Young Adult (2011) – Review

March 16, 2012 in Drama, Reviews

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3 1/2 Stars

Young Adult is one of the most fearsomely awkward films I’ve ever seen. Charlize Theron inhabits a character so unsympathetic and selfish, she alienates audiences early on. Yet, I could not take my eyes away from the train-wreck of a woman presented onscreen. It is a devastatingly good performance in a film that grows more powerful with each passing minute.
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Hunt to Kill (2010) – Review

March 15, 2012 in Action, Reviews

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2 1/2 Stars

Hunt to Kill begins like Cliffhanger and ends like First Blood, and in today’s B-movie offerings, that’s ingenuity. Typically these flicks only rip-off one blockbuster. Instead of Sly Stallone we have Steve Austin as a border patrol agent, a man still traumatized over of the death of his partner. He is also a loving father to a hormonal teenage daughter. She’s the kind of obnoxious (albeit beautiful) character that is perpetually snooty even while being pistol whipped by bad guys. Hunt to Kill is something of a novelty in that it features no less than three cast members from The Expendables. It comes as no surprise then that the highlight of the film is an extended hand-to-hand fight scene between Austin and Gary Daniels. For fans of either man, that sequence alone makes this required viewing.
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Moneyball (2011) – Review

March 12, 2012 in Drama, Reviews

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4 Stars

Moneyball is an utterly absorbing baseball drama that features Brad Pitt’s most sensational performance in years. This unconventional sports film explores the financial woes of the Oakland A’s franchise. How does a team with a $39 million dollar payroll compete with top tier clubs like New York? General Manager Billy Beane (Pitt) adopts a new way of looking at the value of an individual player, along with his assistant Peter (Hill), the pair begins using a statistical equation to ‘manufacture’ wins. It was a wildly successful experiment that resulted in a MLB record setting 20 straight victories during the course of the 2002 season.
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Hercules (1983) – Review

March 12, 2012 in Action, Family, Reviews, SciFi

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1 1/2 Stars

Hulking mesomorph Lou Ferrigno, grunts and flexes his way through the title role in this ridiculous space epic. Hercules appears to be a Conan-clone but this Cannon Films production owes as much to Star Wars and Superman than Schwarzenegger’s barbarian. Ferrigno battles various villains and monsters in his quest to rescue a princess. The absurd screenplay is a mockery to Greek mythology, and the film is rife with effects more suited to a SCI-FI picture.
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In Time (2011) – Review

March 8, 2012 in Action, Reviews, SciFi

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2 Stars

In Time has a great premise, a handful of good scenes, and an effective production design yet it still manages to be a let down. Director and writer Andrew Niccol, who fared so well with Gattica, disappoints with this sci-fi tale set in the future. Time is the new currency in this era and the population is genetically altered to stop aging at 25 years old. After that point you must work to gain time which in turn extends life spans. As I had stated, it is a fantastic premise. However, this film quickly loses momentum and becomes deathly slow for what at times is a rudimentary chase film. Niccol has fashioned his tale into an obvious parable to today’s economic troubles and the unbalanced relationships among the 99% and the 1%.
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Conquest (1983) – Review

March 7, 2012 in Action, Reviews, SciFi

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2 1/2 Stars

Conquest is a little seen Italian import from famed horror director Lucio Fulci. It takes place during a time of darkness in the once peaceful land of Cronos. The demon sorceress Ocron controls the sun and threatens to bend all to her savage will. The only hope lies with LLias and Maxz, two warriors who have boldly set forth to Ocron’s dark territory to destroy her.
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Yakuza Weapon (2011) – Review

February 29, 2012 in Action, Reviews, SciFi

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3 Stars

Yakuza Weapon is the latest bizarre import from cult Japanese filmmakers Tak Sakaguchi and Yûdai Yamaguchi. If you’re not familiar with their work let me run down a list of past titles, Battlefield Baseball, Samurai Zombie, and Meatball Machine. Sakaguchi and Yamaguchi’s latest collaboration is an outlandish fantasy with odd bits of humor, raunchiness and vast amounts of violence that adds to its mad dash concoction.
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Target Practice (2008) – Review

February 28, 2012 in Action, Reviews

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4 Stars

On the way to a remote location to enjoy fishing and drinking, a group of five friends encounter a violent hostile militia bent on killing each one of them. That’s the basic setup for Target Practice, the ambitious and exhilarating debut film from Richmond Riedel. A former editor, Riedel shows himself to be a gifted filmmaker and an exciting new talent on the scene. His film is like a Ludlum novel mixed with Walter Hill’s Southern Comfort wrapped in the visual stylings of Peter Berg.
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The Mortician (2011) – Review

February 28, 2012 in Drama, Horror, Reviews

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3 1/2 Stars

What a devilish little gem The Mortician turns out to be. I must admit there are instances when I judge a flick by its DVD cover and this one had been staring me down for a few days. My expectations for a thriller starring Method Man of Wu Tang Clan fame were so low it took a mountain of will power just to get the disc into the player. Then the film started and from those opening moments it becomes obvious you’re in the hands of a talented filmmaker with a good story to tell. The noir style homage is more Proyas and Hughes Brothers than Hitchcock, but that seems appropriate given the atmosphere and tension The Mortician is able to mount in a very short period.
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InSight (2011) – Review

February 28, 2012 in Drama, Reviews

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2 1/2 Stars

While trying to save a young stab victim, ER nurse Kaitlyn is accidentally electrocuted by a defibrillator. Soon she begins having visions she believes to be memories of the dead woman she was touching when shocked. With the help of Det. Peter Rafferty she begins to piece together the puzzles from her visions and works toward solving the crime. But as Kaitlyn walks the fine line of psychic and psychotic her world begins to fall apart. Does she have the InSight to find the killer and prove her sanity? Find out in an incredibly shocking twist ending.
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Another Earth (2011) – Review

February 27, 2012 in Drama, Reviews, SciFi

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3 1/2 Stars

While driving home from a party, intoxicated teenager Rhoda Williams hears a radio broadcast stating the finding of a planet in our solar system that is exactly like our own, Another Earth. As her head turns to the sky she fails to see the car stopped at the intersection and she slams head-on into it killing John Burroughs’ family, and leaving him in a coma. Four years later she is released from prison as Earth 2, as the media is now calling it, is edging itself closer and closer. Trying to make peace with her past she approaches John, but in a moment of weakness lies. Under the false pretenses of being a maid, Rhoda weaves her way into his life and the two help each other deal with the devastating past as the rest of the world looks to the future. Rhoda sets out on a path of redemption against the science fiction backdrop of the discovery of a planet that mirror ours, providing everyone a chance for a second start.
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Stay Cool (2009) – Review

February 23, 2012 in Comedy, Reviews

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1 1/2 Stars

Henry McCarthy, a successful author, must Stay Cool as he returns to his hometown high school to give a commencement speech to the graduating senior class. He realizes how lost he is in life as he experiences high school all over again. His old friends are still around to keep him company, and he finally gets up the nerve to approach an old crush. During this time Henry gets wrapped up with taking a high school girl to the prom, which he didn’t attend in his day and age. What will Henry take away from these experiences? Can he piece his life back together?
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Stormhouse (2011) – Review

February 22, 2012 in Horror, Reviews

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1 Star

Stormhouse is a Sphere meets The Excorcist low-budget science fiction horror flick. 11 months before the invasion of Iraq the British government has imprisoned a supernatural entity in an underground base called Stormhouse. After loosing contact with the spirit they bring in ghost whisperer Hayley Sands. But her involvement proves deadly as the entity escapes, wreaking havoc on the base. Who will make it out alive?
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The Saints of Mt. Christopher (2011) – Review

February 22, 2012 in Drama, Reviews

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1 Star

The Saints of Mt. Christopher is like Hoosiers if Dito Montiel was directing. It’s a jumbled maddening film occasionally punctuated by a good scene that doesn’t ever build toward a satisfying climax. Scenes aren’t cut together so much as jammed into one another with jarring incompetence. Recognizable faces, such as the oft wonderful Clifton Powell and the always interesting Tom Sizemore, are limited to playing caricatures of roles they previously portrayed in far better movies. To suggest this is a sports film in the tradition of Remember the Titans (as the cover art suggests) is as bold a proclamation as you’re likely to hear all year.
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All Things Fall Apart (2011) – Review

February 22, 2012 in Drama, Family, Reviews

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3 1/2 Stars

Curtis ’50 Cent’ Jackson sheds his tough guy persona to portray a college football star suddenly brought to his knees from cancer. It’s a startling transformation the rapper turned actor has made in losing a reported 40lbs to play the title role, in a fictional story he co-scripted with Brian A. Miller. I have been of the opinion that Jackson is an underrated screen talent and here when paired against the class acts of Lynn Whitfield and Mario Van Peebles, he holds his own. That this tale of tragedy and quasi-redemption is any good is even more surprising.
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Poolboy: Drowning Out the Fury (2011) – Review

February 21, 2012 in Comedy, Reviews

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3 Stars

Let me get it out of the way upfront, I laughed frequently throughout this spoof of a movie within a movie. I didn’t expect much from the comedic duo of Kevin Sorbo and Danny Trejo, neither man had proven to have even limited gifts in the arena of comedy. Sorbo is a revelation. His deadpan delivery amongst zaniness was first glimpsed in Meet the Spartans, but here Sorbo is more at ease and has better writing to work from. This peculiar sketch film is part Tropic Thunder and a bit Black Dynamite, if those were directed by the Zucker Brothers and Wayans.
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A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas (2011) – Review

February 21, 2012 in Comedy, Reviews

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2 1/2 Stars

A third round of spaced out hijinks from the maestros of marijuana, only this go around is holiday themed. Harold and Kumar are estranged after life has taken them in very different directions. Kumar is a med school drop out content with smoking his days away, while unburned with the knowledge he is to be a father in nine months time. Harold is a reformed stoner now married to a latin woman and desperately trying to conceive a baby. The intervening years haven’t been kind to the pot smoking duo each has a new best friend that serves to irritate and cause jealousy amongst the other. The silly plot involves the Christmas Eve search for a twelve foot tree to replace the one Kumar burnt down with a joint delivered from Santa. It’s that kind of movie.
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Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace 3D (2012) – Review

February 20, 2012 in Action, Family, Reviews, SciFi

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3 Stars

To 3d or not to see? That is the 12 dollar question for most casual moviegoers. The answer is …sort of. If you already harbor a disdain for this episode then no amount of visual trickery is going to change your mind. The negative critical reaction that greeted Phantom Menace when it premiered in May 1999 was as venomous as any in recent memory. Fanboys turned their back on the venerable franchise and focused their attention on the ‘fresh’ ideas presented by The Matrix.
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Jack and Jill (2011) – Review

February 20, 2012 in Comedy, Family, Reviews

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1 1/2 Stars

The newest Adam Sandler vehicle cast the popular comedian in dual roles. Playing both a male and female character, Sandler goes the route of other comedians like Eddie Murphy, Martin Lawrence and Dustin Hoffman in playing a homely woman. However in this instance his alter-ego Jill is a Jewish New Yorker prone to negativity and constant befuddlement with technology and Southern California culture. Sandler speaks in a nasally high pitch that recalls the voice he used on his platinum selling comedy album They’re All Going to Laugh at You back before he was a movie star.
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Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (1991) – Review

February 19, 2012 in Reviews, SciFi

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4 Stars

Of all movies in the original Star Trek saga the Nicolas Meyer directed films are not only the best written in the series, they are also the most polished in terms of film-making. In the thrilling second installment we were introduced to the greatest villain in the franchise with Khan. Much like the James Bond films each Star Trek chapter is defined by the villain to an extent. And with this entry we are given General Chang one of the all-time great bad guys and with the performance by Christopher Plummer we have arguably the classiest thespian to ever enter the Trek universe.
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Hard Rain (1998) – Review

February 19, 2012 in Action, Reviews

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2 1/2 Stars

There was a brief moment in the mid 1990s when Christian Slater was being sold as (possibly) the next action star. Certainly in the wake of Keanu Reeves career making a turn in Speed and with action vets Schwarzenegger, Stallone, Seagal and Van Damme in career free fall studio heads began the search for an apt replacement. During this period we were treated to the goofy screen charms of Howie Long in Firestorm and Christian Slater in Hard Rain. To be fair Slater was a mini sensation after the surprising box office performance of 1996s Broken Arrow.
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Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986) – Review

February 19, 2012 in Reviews, SciFi

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3 1/2 Stars

A funny word kept creeping into my mind as I watched Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, ‘whimsical’. The goofy story involves a ton of whimsy and humor in turning the Star Trek formula and series on its head. Having only a vague connection to the other films in the franchise, this entry serves as a side story with no real bearing other than to have some fun with these very well-known characters. After facing trial for his actions in the last installment, namely stealing a starship, Kirk is demoted from Admiral to Captain and given back control of the Enterprise. This well crafted sequel is all action in an elongated opening sequence set in space. But when the Enterprise crew returns to 20th century Earth to save the almost extinct whales, the story perks up, takes on a good humored, emotional dimension and soars.
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Last Man Standing (2011) – Review

February 8, 2012 in Drama, Reviews

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2 Stars

In Last Man Standing happy suburban wife, mother and ex-special-ops agent Abby Collin’s past is about to resurface and haunt her. She’s done all she can to keep her past a secret from her family, except her amazing computer skills (who’d wanna hide that?). But after her husband gets kidnapped the cat’s out of the bag, and kitty has claws. Abby does everything in her power to keep her family safe while trying to stay ahead of the clock and meet the kidnapper’s demands. Using her mad computer skills of unplugging wires and plugging them back in someplace else, she is forced to steal money from her recently deceased ex-teammate. With the help of the only other man in her now-defunct unit and the cops hot on her trail, will Abby solve the mystery of who’s behind this scheme? My money’s on the star and producer of the film, Catherine Bell, coming out a successful hero.
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