1 1/2 Stars
Battleship is an overlong and plodding screen adaption of the Hasbro game. That this ungainly monotonous monstrosity emerged from the hands of gifted filmmaker Peter Berg, is all the more disheartening. As the film collapses from one meaningless scene to another. All hope for even a mindlessly entertaining film are dashed. Characters constantly make illogical decisions. The acting is on the level of a CW nighttime soap opera, and the screenplay is needlessly drawn out with pointless scenes and the dumbest “meet cute” sequence in recent memory. Plot threads go nowhere, while the third act twist generated an enormous amount of (unintentional) laughter. Taylor Kitsch is Alex Hopper, a mid-20’s screw-up facing jail-time for breaking into a convenience store to obtain a burrito for Samantha (Brooklyn Decker). To avoid a prison stint Alex enlists in the Navy along side his upstanding brother, Commander Stone Hopper. All is not well however, turns out Alex and Sam (even the girls have the boy names in this adolescent male fantasy), are in love much to the chagrin of her father, Admiral Shane (Liam Neeson). This human story is then interrupted by the appearance of an alien vessel at sea, during a military training exercise among the US and Japanese Naval Fleet.