Sweepers (1998) – Review

2 1/2 Stars

Dolph Lundgren is Christian Erickson, a man described by his superiors as someone who’s talent for finding land mines is only exceeded by his complete lack of discipline. In the opening moments of Sweepers we are given the lengthy history of a generations long civil war in Angola and the dangerous methods that were used to slaughter up to two hundred people a week.
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In the Name of the King III (2014) – Review

1 Star

Uwe Boll’s improbable trilogy concludes with this ultra-low budget entry subtitled: The Last Mission. That is a swell promise since this series is now so far removed from the source material that started the franchise it’s embarrassing to even associate the name with this picture. Boll’s latest muse is Australian beefcake Dominic Purcell, this the fourth pairing of director and star and it is by far the weakest collaboration between the two.
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The Killing Machine (2010) – Review

3 Stars

In The Killing Machine, Dolph Lundgren is an ex KGB agent, now living in the United States and working as a hit-man, for the Russian mafia. The veteran assassin is contemplating retirement, when he is forced into taking one last assignment. Things go awry and suddenly Lundgren finds himself the target for a group of skilled mercenaries. The Killing Machine (a.k.a. Icarus) is a stylish action thriller that attempts to add an element of film noir mixed in with its Bourne-like story. The result is a mixed bag, with a handful of good scenes but not much originality.
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Midnight Chronicles (2010) – Review

2 1/2 Stars

Midnight Chronicles is a curiously low-key, yet ambitiously mounted medieval drama with the complex mythology of a cable miniseries mixed with the off beat style of David Lynch’s eccentric Dune adaptation. Audience members not familiar with the source material may not recognize this film as having an association to the Dungeons and Dragons role playing game Midnight. It’s telling that the producers didn’t use the D&D moniker anywhere in the title. Perhaps it was a conscious effort to distance this movie from the horrendous previous films that have fallen under that banner. Whatever the case, Midnight Chronicles is a better picture that strains to tell its elaborate story within the limitations of its obviously inadequate budget.
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In the Name of the King II: Two Worlds (2011) – Review

3 Stars

Anyone who claims Uwe Boll is the worst director of all time hasn’t seen enough movies. I would argue that Roland Emmerich is just as critically derived, but alas that debate leads to madness. In the Name of the King II: Two Worlds is actually a much better film than the original. It’s true the first had a larger budget with a big name cast, but that picture moved in ebbs and flows and for the majority of it’s 156 minute running time it was just plain dull. This sequel is an outlandish tale that is far more streamlined and very amusing. Personally I loved the tongue in cheek touches in the witty script by longtime special effects guru turned scribe Michael Nachoff. If you’re wondering if this is a true sequel or a cash grab to pull in fans of the original, I’d say it’s both. There is no real reason this couldn’t have been titled just Two Worlds, however there is a minor revelation that Dolph’s character Granger is the son of Jason Statham’s character from the first film. Turns out old Dolph was born in the ancient days but hidden in an orphanage in present day America. Judging by that last sentence you’ll know if King 2 is your kind of movie.
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