Where to watch G.I. Joe: The Movie
1 1/2 Stars
Time and time again, Cobra has been on the threshhold of global domination, only to be thwarted by the Joes. Now the ruthless terrorist organization has a new ally, the Cobra-La race, led by Golobulus. Golobulus wants to steal the Joes’ “Broadcast Energy Transmitter” in order to ripen space spores and mutate the people of Earth. When Duke is injured and the rest of the force immobilized, it’s up to the new “rawhides” and Slaughter’s Marauders to pick up the slack and save the world.
As an 80’s kid, I was firmly entranced by the 1983 G.I. Joe cartoon series. The Saturday morning animated antics of Duke and his crew of military ‘joes’ were second only to He-Man to me as a child. Even back in 1987, I was aware that a feature-length movie was available on video store shelves. Since it had skipped a theatrical release and then suddenly appeared at the mom-and-pop video shop, I was hesitant to rent it. The videobox artwork was cool, but the celebrity voice, Don Johnson, didn’t do much in creating a ‘need to see it’ factor. For nearly 40 years, I had never screened G.I. Joe: The Movie.
Interestingly, I have seen this movie. How’s that? Well, Hasbro cut G.I. Joe: The Movie into a 5-episode arc that was integrated into the weekly series. As the animated film played out, waves of deja vu hit me until I realized that the familiarity of the story was due to the reruns over the years in my youth. That’s to say the animation is as half-assed as the TV show version, the characters are too plentiful to be impactful, and the story will bore anyone over 10 to death. This movie is a peculiar artifact, a cash grab that was never released theatrically.
Directed by: Don Jurwich
Written by: Ron Friedman, Roger Slifer (associate story consultant)
Starring: Charlie Adler, Shuko Akune, Jack Angel, Michael Bell