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Movie Reviews

A Haunted House 2 (2014)
“Lacking any effective supporting players, star Marlon Wayans is left to flounder uncomfortably onscreen for the majority of the running-time. Stripping away the smart and self-aware satirical angle that defined the Wayans troupe work on the successful Scary Movie franchise, A Haunted House 2 is predictable and infantile nonsense that might amuse kids old enough to sneak into the movies by themselves.”
Smokey and the Bandit II (1980)
“This is the kind of lazy, unfunny farce that is the definition of a cash-grab. It may have grossed untold Millions, but tripe like Smokey II helped topple the one-time box-office king from his perch.”
3 Days to Kill (2014)
3 Days to Kill is a study in implausibilities, but that doesn't damper the entertainment value. At the risk of over-length, writer Luc Besson and director McG have given the characters scenes to talk in between the shooting and beatings.”

Rage (2014)
Rage, works in the moment but any attempt at profoundness come off as silly and inappropriate in a movie that is influenced by Steven Seagal flicks and Cronenberg in equal measures.”
The November Man (2014)
“Aspirations of a franchise similar to the Bond or Bourne series are quickly dashed, the movie is bizarrely incoherent and distracted, it is both overly-plotted and under-cooked. This is surely one of the year's worst offerings, made more disappointing due to the presence of director Roger Donaldson behind the camera and former James Bond, Pierce Brosnan, in the lead role.”
Dead in Tombstone (2013)
“...Dead in Tombstone, which has been a straight forward western up to this point goes full-bore horror mode from here after. This is a hyper-violent hybrid that plays to the strengths of its director and cast. If the loquacious-ness of Tarantino's characters is too long-winded for you, or the frenzied self-aware camera work of Rodriguez is too much, then Rein√© presents a happy medium between the two.”

The Nut Job (2014)
The Nut Job isn't the best family film of the year or any other hyperbole the ads suggest, but it's a lot better than any second-tier copy should be.”
The Purge: Anarchy (2014)
“Beautifully shot and crisply edited, this sequel bests the original in terms of story, production values and acting. Through plot development, sound design, costumes, and dialogue a remarkable amount of dread is summoned and sustained throughout the brief running time.”
Army of One (1993)
“The most famous 'car' flick is probably Smokey and the Bandit, though Bullet, Fast & Furious, and Gone in 60 Seconds are notable genre entries. Army of One successfully uses elements from each picture in crafting its own style, resulting in an undeniable guilty pleasure.”

Babylon A.D. (2008)
“All the running, shooting, futuristic settings, and pseudo-science, aren't enough to overcome the deadly moronic screenplay and sub-par execution on-screen”
X-Men (2000)
“...just captivating enough to warrant interest in a follow-up. If there is a major flaw with the film, it is that the movie seems to be a warm-up, an introductory course in establishing back-story and conflicts that would be revisited in subsequent installments.”
Heavy Metal (1981)
Heavy Metal is a brash, sometimes crudely constructed anthology accompanied by an odd mixture of rock music. The trippy elements are part of an over-all unique experience that starts with a bang but gradually runs out of steam.”

King Solomon’s Mines (1985)
King Solomon's Mines is a poor-man's substitute for the comparatively dazzling craftsmanship of the Lucas/Spielberg collaborations.”
Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold (1987)
Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold has been filmed and released but it's not in completed form, the final product is so laughably bad that it would make a great drinking-game, if it weren't sure to induce a state of comatose.”
Hercules (2014)
“There are movies that attempt to broaden the boundaries of their respective genre, Hercules is not one of these pictures. It is content to stay within the outlined perimeters and moves confidently from scene to scene, without ever stamping home a moment of authenticity or giving the audience a character to relate with. This makes Milius' Conan the Barbarian look like Alexander Nevsky (1938) in comparison.”

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