2-Headed Shark Attack (2012) – Review

Where to watch 2-Headed Shark Attack

1 Star

A group of students aboard a U.S. educational vessel on a ocean trip to study aquatic life discover the presence of the ultra rare and extra vicious 2 headed shark of the title. After an intial encounter with the sea beast causes damage to their vessel the students and their teacher abandon the ship for refuge on a deserted atoll. However, said land mass is suffering from some serious seismic activity, the ground seems to be opening up before them. Forcing these marooned students to enter the dangerous ocean waters in order to make it back aboard the ship they abandoned in the first place. If that seems a little redundant it’s appropriate as this whole movie borrows stock footage from other Asylum films to pad the stretched out plot points.

Impatient audience members won’t have to wait long, no more than a minute in and the 2 headed shark of the title makes its first appearance. Leaping out of the water and snatching two water skiers simultaneously. The chintzy CGI immediately rears its ugly head. The best of these types of movies are quickiky paced, with a self deprecating humor and a certain charm factor. Charlie O’Connell is here to remind you that his brother was in Piranha 3D. Brooke Hogan is the virginal, drug free innocent heroine, you know just from the horror genre conventions that she will make it to the end credits. The sexpots are mostly presented to be picked off one by one or in this case two at a time.

To be fair there isn’t much that you can do with these bare bone elements. In typical B-movie fashion this product was presumably made under a tight budget and even tighter shooting schedule. Under those conditions it’s remarkable the filmmakers where able to even produce a (semi) coherent film. A major distraction is the haphazard editing including jarring amounts of jump cuts. This proves to be a major detriment even in a film with such low ambitions.

Hogan is credible and could have a long career in b-movies, her surfer girl looks and paced delivery suit the character. The supporting cast members are an attractive group of unknowns that look great in bikinis. Those of you strictly looking for some T&A will be happy to know that the filmmakers have supplied you with ample doses of nudity and jiggling leering shots. Although none of the principal cast members including Hogan and Carmen Electra get nude there is a hilariously misplaced sequence of Electra sunbathing and posing as if modeling for a men’s magazine. I guess my biggest problem with the film is that there is very little screen time for the title beast. Don’t give me that Spielberg hide the shark from audiences in Jaws defense. Jaws was artistic, 2 Headed Shark Attack is anemic. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy an explotive genre picture as much as the next critic, in fact I was so amused by Piranha 3D‘s outlandish schlockiness that I awarded that film 3 1/2 stars. The greatest difference between the two pictures is the lack of self deprecation in this routine action thriller.

Director: Christopher Ray
Stars: Carmen Electra, Charlie O’Connell, Brooke Hogan