Supergirl (1984) – Review

1/2 Star

Supergirl is from the same producers behind the Superman series, but this second-rate spin-off has none of the magic or charm of that higher profile sister franchise. In fact, Supergirl is hands-down the worst superhero film to ever receive a theatrical distribution. The initial thought was to spawn a secondary franchise that would run concurrently to the other series. After this weak outing all sequel talks were quickly squelched, and the character has laid dormant ever since. Not a single element works in this wretched affair, from the casting to the special effects and particularly the idiotic script, everything that made the Superman movies successful has been pillaged and executed incorrectly.

The Girl of Steel is named Kara (Helen Slater), and she is a cousin to Superman, both hailing from the now destroyed planet Krypton. On a mission to save her dying city, Kara travels to Earth to recover a power source. Naturally the small device has fallen into the wrong hands, a clownish amateur witch named Selena (Faye Dunaway) posses the orb and its unlimited power.

So logically, Kara switches her name to Linda Lee and hides out in an all-girls academy. Turning the story into an extended episode of The Facts of Life (google it). The school’s grounds-keeper (Hart Bochner) has been put under a love-spell and now he has eyes for Kara. The lusting of an adult gardener can’t distract Supergirl from her mission, in which she will eventually battle witches, a hundred-foot monster, and a trip to the perilous phantom zone.

This is an over-long and dreadfully dull movie that rightfully died a quick death at the box office. Fault must rest with the producers for green-lighting a script that is not suited for the big-screen treatment. Writer David Ordell, who would pen the similarly awful Masters of the Universe, nearly reused his story here for a Masters 2 that would have seen He-Man at a University playing quarterback, I digress. Supergirl never gets off the ground, which is disappointing since Superman soars high.

Director: Jeannot Szwarc
Stars: Faye Dunaway, Helen Slater, Peter O’Toole,

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