Where to watch Baywatch
1 Star
The big-screen adaptions of that 1990s television phenomenon, Baywatch, is one of the most mindless, shamelessly lazy films I’ve seen in a long time. This so-called comedy, which lacks any actual comedians, is bound to wind up as one of 2017’s worst films. No one expects much from a movie like Baywatch but it’s sketchy, half-baked, incoherent story is a bit too much to bear. Perpetually pumped headliners Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron have apparently worked harder on their torsos than the creative team did on the writing and directing of this picture. The obvious point of reference is the success of the 21 Jump Street series, but those movies were clever, and their narrative twists kept you amused. Baywatch is not only an exercise in robotic filmmaking it’s also a mess of continuity.
Mitch Buchannon (Dwayne Johnson) and his fellow lifeguards Stephanie (Ilfenesh Hadera) and CJ (Kelly Rohrbach), two ethnically diverse but beautiful co-workers; a trio of recruits who hope to join the team, Summer (Alexandra Daddario), Ronnie (Jon Bass), and Olympic bad-boy Matt Brody (Efron) dubbed “the vomit-comet”, must stop the dangerous Victoria Leeds (Priyanka Chopra), a wealthy private club owner who is importing drugs and distributing them through her beachfront resort.
This attempt to revive the already campy property goes bizarrely haywire in its opening ten minutes, before spinning out of control into an uninteresting and tortuously boring experience. Baywatch piles on miscalculation upon miscalculation, beginning by casting Johnson and Efron who share no discernible screen chemistry. Despite the labors of the actors there’s no screen magic being made here.
Director: Seth Gordon
Stars: Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron, Kelly Rohrbach